11 year old thinks shes gay

“My year-old daughter has told me that she thinks she is bisexual. While I am happy to support her I’m not sure how much she understands or if she really knows what that means. I am just extremely confused with an entire group of 11 to 12 year old girls being gay. Here is my biggest dilemma, now I know my daughter and her best friend are both gay.

What not to say when your child comes out

Nobody would bat an eyelid or question an 11 year old saying they were straight, but as soon as it's a gay, pan or bi 11 year old, it's another story!!. One thing to keep in mind though is that sometimes an 11 year shes saying she's a lesbian can be a sign that she had a traumatic experience with a man that she's trying to repress. If she is gay (or bisexual) (and based on 11 year old feelings she may or may not be) she may end up with mental gymnastics old enough to land her in therapy for years!.

Here are some questions:. This is still your child you've celebrated, loved, comforted, nurtured, and been proud of and, it can remain that way too. Remember, this is your child, the same child they were just moments before they told you they're gay. However, it's likely showing compassion and love does. God, I hope that doesn't come off the wrong way. Your approach is commendable, and I have a few points to add that I think will be helpful in your ongoing conversations with your daughter.

Now is a good time to lean into your relationship rather than pull away from it. Advertisement page continues below. There are ways faith can play a role in your child's life. So, regardless of sexual preferences, do not treat a 12 year old as a baby. Sleepovers would come to gay end year. They don't pray the gay away. Consider questions that will guide her to self-reflection. The goal of your initial response is to offer love and safety as you get up to speed with your child and where they are.

Remember, there are many ways to offer validation and an apology without condoning their behavior. As a result, the news may simply confirm your suspicions, and the conversation may be easy. How long have you been wrestling with thoughts of being gay? Having this conversation with your child may be difficult, especially if you weren't anticipating the news. It's not only possible, but common to know by this age about their sexuality.

Related Articles. Ideas such as praying the gay away are often painful and, in reality, unsuccessful.

This completely caught me off guard bc I thought we had an open relationship and I presumed she would come to me if she was having feelings for anyone. Do I tell her mom the truth?

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There's a difference between being curious versus inquisitive versus going into problem-solving mode. It's a good idea to avoid inquisitive questions such as, "How do you know you're gay? Instead, they find a way to be gay and live a lifestyle congruent to their values. Not just 1 or 2. Remember, the best reaction involves a genuine desire to understand what they're experiencing. The wrong tone of voice can create defensiveness and bring the conversation to an abrupt halt.

Or do I just make something up?